A Scary Halloween

For parents, the tricky part about trick-or-treating on Halloween comes in deciding how much freedom your kids will enjoy that evening. Will you send them out the door to canvass the neighborhood without you? Will you follow along behind them, watching from the sidewalk as they ring doorbells? Will you closely monitor their candy intake to avoid over-consumption? Will you hand out only organic Clementines in an effort to staunch the flow of sugar?

These are the questions that plague the modern parent—and it’s really no wonder that Halloween brings out the angst in us. If we no longer send out our children onto our own street—the street that we decided was safe enough to buy a house and live on—without our direct supervision, then why would we on Halloween? If we no longer we deem it okay to let our upper-elementary school age children or older walk to the bus stop by themselves in broad daylight, we certainly are not going to let them go alone to knock on strangers’ doors at night dressed up as Peter Pan and Elsa.

Image courtesy of maple/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Then there is the boost Halloween receives from the media, who ratcheted up fears in parents with tales—unfounded, unsubstantiated—of poisoned candy handed out to random children by crazy people. (Read some of the debunked myths on Snopes.com for just how the media loves to point the finger at Halloween goodies.)

The common denominator in all of these is fear of harm to our kids. That’s why this week, you’ve probably seen stories of hospitals that will scan Halloween candy for free and tips on how to make sure your child’s costume won’t cause injury when walking around the neighborhood. That’s also the reason why shopping malls offer indoor “safe” trick-or-treating under the bright lights and Christmas decorations.

What can you do to stop this fear epidemic? Take a moment to reflect on all the things you love about your neighborhood. The person who walks his cute little dog by your house at 7 a.m. every day. The neighbor who tosses your newspaper on the porch when you’re away. The children with which your kids play and go to school. This nice, safe place you’re raising your family. There’s nothing to fear the other 364 days of the year, so why pick on Halloween?

So get out there and get to know your neighbors a little bit better. If your kids are old enough (and I would hazard a guess that at least four or fifth graders and up are), then let them go trick-or-treating on their own. If that makes you really nervous, then have a time or street limit. They will have a blast being independent, and you can greet all the trick-or-treaters who come by your house.

And loosen up on the candy. Hand out the good stuff and don’t worry about childhood obesity or tooth decay. One night of over-indulgence isn’t going to hurt anyone in the long run.

Until next time,

Sarah

Boo! Spooky Lessons From a Scary Holiday

To most kids, Halloween can be one of the best holidays ever. Dressing up, getting candy, staying up late—what could be better to a child? But sometimes, Halloween can be frightening to parents. What about the scary costumed older kids your little one may encounter? Will the candy be safe to eat? What about knocking on the doors of strangers—won’t that send the wrong message to my kids?

Image courtesy of hin255/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here are some tips to make Halloween safe and fun for your children.

1. Costume safety comes before fashion. If a hemline drags the ground, chances are your child will tip over sometime during the evening. If a mask is too loose, your kid might fall down, too. Make sure the costumes aren’t a walking hazard for your child and you’ll have an easier evening.
2. Stick to your own neighborhood. Unless you live in candy wasteland, resist the urge to go to the mall or another neighborhood to trick-or-treat. Part of the fun of Halloween is actually talking to your neighbors! Introduce yourselves and your kids, and be sure to say hello the next time you see him mowing the lawn.
3. Mind your manners. Remind your children to speak to the grownups who open their doors, saying “please” and “thank you.” Also, ask them not to grab big handfuls of candy from the offered bowl. We make it a rule that if we can’t hear the “thank you” from each child from our post a few feet away, then that candy is ours. We’ve never had to enforce that rule, come to think of it! Somehow, the kids manage to be pretty clear in their thanks.
4. Have a candy-eating policy before Halloween. We generally allow the kids to eat a lot of candy on Halloween itself. Then they can take a piece with their lunch until it’s gone. Sometimes that means Halloween candy is being consumed close to Christmas, but candy doesn’t go bad, right? The kids know that if they sneak candy, Mom and Dad get to eat the rest!
5. Giving is as good as receiving. Part of the fun for our family is returning home and handing out candy to those who knock on our door. All of our kids really enjoy this part of the evening and are disappointed if no one comes looking for candy.

Whatever your Halloween traditions, stay safe and have a sweet time! I know my Dorothy, Mary, Robin Hood and Dragon will.

Coming in early 2014, Sarah and Mary Elizabeth Peritti will speak on Parenting With Love & Leadership in a four-part webinar series. Contact Sarah through her website for more information.