Manners Matter

Q: What are manners my children should know? My husband doesn’t think we should teach any manners, and my mother thinks we should teach a lot of manners. I’m looking for the middle ground. My three kids are between the ages of 7 and 12.

A: The March issue of Practical Parenting tackles the question of why manners are important for children (and adults), so I won’t reiterate those reasons here. (To subscribe to the free, monthly e-newsletter, click on the newsletter tab.)

Image courtesy of chrisroll / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As for which manners all children should master, here’s a short list:

• Table manners: chewing with your mouth closed, waiting for everyone to finish eating before leaving the table, and no elbows on the table are among the things that relate to having good table manners.
• Meeting people manners: looking adults in the eye when addressed, shaking hands, and replying politely to greetings are some of the things necessary to talking with adults.
• Phone manners: saying “Hello, Hamaker residence, this is Sarah speaking,” when answering the phone conveys this is a civilized household. Also teach how to take messages.
• Conversation manners: Not interrupting, waiting patiently while adults converse, and answering when spoken to are just some of the way we should behave in public.

This is not an inclusive list, as there are more manners that need to taught by example and explicit instruction. But it doesn’t have to be boring. We often review table manners while eating dinner or at a restaurant.

Manners are a way of treating family, friends, neighbors and strangers in a courteous, polite way—and well worth the effort it takes to instill them in our children.

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