Testing Limits

Q: Our four-year-old son is pushing the envelope all the time. For example, when told repeatedly to stop hitting his sister’s chair, he will laugh at us while still slapping the chair. We immediately put him in his room, but when he’s faced with the consequences of his misbehavior, he will throw a tantrum. While I realize his behavior common, I need some tips on how to manage it appropriate and effectively.

A. One of my children tested the limits a lot as a four-year-old, so I get your frustration. I think the Doctor needs to make a house call. In the morning before he’s had a tantrum, tell her that you spoke to the Doctor and he said four-year-olds who throw tantrums aren’t getting enough sleep. Therefore, whenever he has a tantrum, move up dinner to 5 p.m. that evening and put him to bed, lights out, directly after supper. If the tantrum happens after dinner, the child goes immediately to bed.

Also stop telling him more than once to stop doing something. If he isn’t obedient, then to his room he goes, which you have stripped of “play value.” As long as he’s in his room, don’t be concerned if he throws a tantrum.

I’ll close with one final thought: You can do the right thing and the child can still do the wrong thing. Unfortunately, some kids take longer than others to “straighten up and fly right,” so keep on doing what you’re doing.

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