“The problem is that when a person in a leadership position
attempts to establish a close relationship with the people he is leading, his
effectiveness as a leader is canceled. Children need good leadership, at least
until they have developed good impulse control.” –John Rosemond in Parent Babble
Many parents unfortunately have abandoned their leadership
role in the home in lieu of having a relationship with their children. Effective
leaders don’t have relationships with their employees; effective leaders
realize that leading is what their workers need, not a friend or confidant.
Parents concerned with relationships tend to hesitate,
waffle and avoid confrontations and discipline with their children, being more
concerned with how their child will react to the instruction than how their
child needs such correction. Parents concerned with relationships worry about
their children liking them.
On the other hand, effective leaders make decisions based on
the good of the company, not on whether their employees will like the decision.
Effective leaders can take it when workers are upset with their policies. They
know as leaders they have to make tough decisions that their workers won’t
understand until they are in leadership positions themselves. Effective leaders
do not waffle. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
For parents, being an effective leader means not being
popular with your children; making hard decisions your children will not like
or understand until they themselves are parents; and giving clear instructions without
explanations.
For more on effective leadership, check out the January
newsletter, “The Importance of Leadership.” You can sign up to receive this
free, monthly e-newsletter on the Newsletter tab.
Until next time,
Sarah
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