Q: My husband and I
want some alone time in the evenings, but our preschooler keeps coming out of
his room after being tucked in for the night. How can we get him to stay in his
room after lights out?
--Bedtime Blues
A: We had this problem when our youngest, who shared a room
with his older brother, transitioned to a toddler bed from his crib. We
reserved the lock on the door (unlocking it before we went to bed), and that
worked. But here’s a gentler solution to your dilemma.
After putting your child in bed, hang a plastic play
necklace on the inside doorknob of his room. Then tell him that the necklace
means he can get out of his bed and room. But, if he does, he must bring you
the necklace and then he can ask a question, share some news, get a drink of
water, go to the bathroom, etc.
Then back in bed he goes but this time, do not rehang the
necklace. Now, if he gets up, he can’t give you the necklace and therefore, he
incurs a two-fold penalty. First, he doesn’t get to play with his favorite toy
the next day. Second, tomorrow’s bedtime is moved up to directly after supper. The
following night, when you put him to bed—no matter what time—put the necklace
on the doorknob and follow the same instructions.
A couple of things might happen. Your son might have no
interest whatsoever in the necklace and get out of bed a bunch of times the
first few nights. However, a few days of not playing with his favorite toy and several
nights with an early bedtime should cure him of getting out of bed more than
once. And I think that you could probably live with one time out of bed.
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parenting question you would like to see answered on this blog? Email Sarah
through the contact page with Parenting Question in the subject line.
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