When Sharing Means No Sleep

Q: Help! We’ve just moved our three-year-old daughter from a crib to a twin bed in her five-year-old sister’s room. However, the transition has not been going well at all. We put them both down at the same time but soon the playing begins. The three-year-old keeps getting out of bed and keeps the five-year-old awake. We’ve tried for a month to get the younger one to sleep, but end up putting her back in the crib about 10 p.m. because neither girl is asleep. Our nine-month-old son needs the crib but we all need sleep, too. What else can we do to help smooth this transition?

A: Ah, the trials and tribulations of room and bed transitions! We went through a similar struggle with our two youngest (boys). The youngest one kept getting out of not only his bed but the entire room as well! As with most transitions, children take time to settle into a new routine. With a little modification, I think your two girls will soon be sleeping much better.

Start by putting the girls to bed separately, with their bedtimes staggered by at least half an hour. This will give the younger one time to settle down on her own before her sister joins her in the room. We’ve found that most of the time, the youngest was asleep when the older one climbed into bed.

Image courtesy of yingyo/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Don’t forget the power of music to sooth them to sleep. We’ve long let our children listen to songs, poems or story CDs when going to sleep. You should make sure it’s not too stimulating, but there are many wonderful CDs for children out there. We’ve especially enjoyed the Rabbit Ears storybook audio series (read by famous actors), as well as various children’s poems. (My mother’s recording of her reading children’s poems on a cassette tape that we had transferred to a CD has been a favorite of all. Something like this makes a great gift, too).

Make sure the girls have plenty of exercise during the day, as activity contributes to good sleep patterns. A quiet bedtime routine that avoids extra stimulation, such as screen time of any kind, will provide signals to their brains that sleep is coming soon.

But if the playing continues despite all of your efforts, just let the girls know that it’s only forbidden if its too noisy. That means no lights on, no bed jumping, no shouting or screaming. If they play quietly for half an hour and fall asleep on the floor, that’s okay.

The most important thing is for you to let your girls figure out on their own how to fall asleep in the same room. Remember, you can’t command a child to go to sleep, but you can provide the tools for her to learn to do it on her own.

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