The Fear Factor

A recent Forbes article stated that we are in the "age of Fear-Based parenting. It is the next generation of ‘Helicopter Parenting,’ which started in affluent households where an overscheduled, vigorously supervised child infers a certain status in competitive communities but has become all too common place."

As parents, we've allowed our fears to control our parenting decisions. If you're wondering if you parent out of fear instead of peace, do you...

1. Walk with your 9 year old to a play date in a home that's six houses away?

2. Drive your elementary-age student to the bus stop?

3. Only allow your children to play in your backyard under your supervision?

4. Refuse to leave your young teens home alone for any length of time?

If you answered "yes" to those questions, then you are parenting out of fear. Fear colors every situation with the worst possible outcome, making walking to the bus stop a block from home seem akin to navigating a mine-field in a war-torn country.

Fear also inhibits our children from growing up, as we limit their experience and curtail their mobility around our neighborhoods and cities. If we allow ourselves to parent from fear, we will raise kids who are afraid of their own shadow, who think they can’t do anything on their own, who will more than likely fail to launch successfully into adulthood.

If you find yourself wrestling with fear as a parent, say the following to yourself.

Today’s world is just as safe as it was when I was a child. Crime statistics back this up!

My child can handle the task. Your child is more capable than you give him credit, so let him step up to the plate and see what he can do on his own.

I refuse to be part of the fear-based parenting culture. Stand up and be the voice of reason. Let your children walk to the bus stop alone. Send them to the park around the block by themselves. Show other parents that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

I encourage you to stop listening to the news and scaredy-cats out there howling about how dangerous the world is. Instead, train your children to recognize real danger, give them parameters, and then let them go.

How do you overcome your fearful tendencies as a parent?

Until next time,

Sarah