Parenting Basics: “I’m Only Going to Say This Once.”

Grandma was right! There is an easy way and a hard way to raise kids. By and large, today’s parents are choosing the hard way. This series of blogs will tackle familiar phrases that used to be commonplace but fell out of favor during the last few decades of the 20th century—and why parents should not be afraid to follow the sentiment expressed in the phrases.

“I’m only going to say this once.” How many of us actually follow this stellar piece of advice? In my personal experience, not many. At the park, I’ve watched parents tell a child, “It’s time to go” multiple times, their voices growing increasingly shrill and strident with each repetition.

We’ve come to expect that children can’t hear as well as they used to when parents of previous generations said it once and that was enough. Somehow, kids today have collectively developed “listener’s ear,” in which they will only listen when they want to, not when Mom or Dad speaks. We read articles and books about how we need to relate to children on their own level so that they will want to hear what we have to say.

Image courtesy of artur84/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

But the fact of the matter is parents today endlessly repeat instructions because their children haven’t been properly trained to listen—and obey—them. Kids must be taught how to listen to instructions the first time. And the secret to that is so simple, you’re going to wonder why you didn’t think of it yourself.

The secret to kids listening the first time is to only say it once. It’s really that simple. Oh, wait, I can hear your question, “What about when they don’t listen and do what’s being asked once?”

That’s when you levy consequences. When my kids don’t listen the first time, it’s rare that I repeat myself (hey, I’m only human!). I’ve been consistent with discipline when they fail to heed my words and that means “I’m only going to say this once” works in our house—and it can in yours, too.

So stop sounding like a broken record (or iPod stuck on repeat?), and start saying something once, then keeping your mouth shut. Follow through with appropriate consequences, and you’ll find your kids suddenly develop good listening skills and you are no longer repeating yourself all the time.

Until next time,

Sarah