Preparing Our Kids for Encounters of the Assault Kind

My children are still in elementary school, so the talk about the increase of sexual assaults on college campuses isn’t something I’m overly concerned about as touching my children right now. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not preparing my kids for the day when they might encounter such a situation, either through a friend, acquaintance or personally. Of course, no mother (or father!) wants to think her daughter or son would ever have to worry about unwanted sexual advances, molestation or rape.

But we live in a world where such things are not outside the realm of possibility. Rather than fearing what might happen, I’d rather focus on what we can do to help our children be strong, compassionate and responsible adults. The type of person who would speak up when seeing wrong or stand firm when others are crumbling. That training should begin when our children are young. Here’s what we’re teaching our children about being a good friend and citizen—in short, becoming young adults who will be more apt to do the right thing and not stand aside to let the wrong thing happen.

1. Teach them to stick up for the weak. Even in elementary school, helping our children develop a heart for those who are being picked on will strengthened their desire to do the right thing, even when it’s the hardest option. So many times, stories of sexual assault are peppered with tales of bystanders who did nothing to help, either before, during or after such incidents. By helping our children find the courage to speak up when they are young, we will instill in them the will to continue on that path into adulthood.

2. Teach them to tell the truth—no matter what. Sometimes, speaking up with the truth is harder than telling a lie or staying silent. That’s true about playground scrapes and it’s true about sexual assaults, especially when someone you like or admire is involved. By stressing the need for truth to always be told—and by ensuring that you encourage and model that in your home—you can help your children realize that truth might be hard, but it’s always the best course of action.

3. Teach them to treat everyone with respect. There are people in this world that we don’t get along with—different personalities, different backgrounds, different interests, etc. But we should strive to treat everyone we encounter with respect. Helping our children internalize that character trait is essential to their living a life of honor and of being good citizens. Having that respect at the core of their being will help them recognize that everyone deserves to be valued.

4. Teach them that everyone is made in God’s image. This goes along with respecting all people, but it digs deeper. When we realize that God has created all human beings, that’s a powerful incentive to be kind to everyone we meet. It’s essentially the backbone of all the other lessons we’re trying to teach because respect, truth-telling, helping the weak—all stem from knowing that everyone we encounter is a reflection of God.

5. Teach them of their own worth. This goes hand-in-hand with everyone—including themselves—being made in God’s image. Knowing who they are on the inside will go a long way to helping them avoid potentially dangerous situations because of a longing to be liked or to fit in with the right crowd. Also drill into them that their bodies are their own, and that no one has the right to touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Add to that no one has the right to tell them to keep quiet if something does happen. Having a sure sense of self can prevent our kids from being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

6. Teach them that love is more than sex. This starts with showing them what a good marriage looks like by being affectionate with your spouse, by treating your husband or wife with respect, by modeling what a good relationship between the sexes looks like. It’s also helping them as they begin to express interest in the opposite sex to understand infatuation and how that can lead to bad decisions. It’s guiding them to recognizing potentially unsafe situations and giving them the tools to avoid them. It’s helping them see that reporting any misconduct is always better than saying nothing—and that you’ll be there to help them through the process no matter what.

Of course, there are no guarantees that even if we teach our kids these truths they will never stray off the right path, but we would be remiss in our calling as parents if we didn’t do our best to teach them the way of righteousness.

Until next time,
Sarah