For the Love of TV

Q: We introduced our three-year-old daughter to television at an early age. We put limits on viewing time—currently, 30 minutes to an hour per day of something educational. However, she loves, loves, loves TV and prefers watching it to anything else. Is this okay? Should we wean her off of it, and if so, how?

A: Of course she loves it! What's better than doing nothing and being “entertained” by flashing lights and quick-changing scenes? I would pull the plug entirely right now, no exceptions, for at least six months. There are so many other things she could be doing that is more beneficial to her growing brain than staring at a screen, no matter how educational the programming.

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But she will complain, and whine and beg and plead and throw temper tantrums when you do (I’m sure this has already happened when you limit her exposure). This will pass in a few days if you stick with it--and DON’T replace TV screen time with electronic screen time of another sort (such as computers, tablets, smartphones, etc.). Kick the entire screen habit cold turkey with her.

Just simply tell her no TV and provide alternatives, such as building blocks and cars and trucks, trains and tracks, stuffed animals, etc. Any toy that doesn’t make it’s own noise is key--you want your daughter to provide the “entertainment” value for the toys, not the other way around. You will probably have to teach her how to play and expect a short attention span to begin with--but with calm purpose, you can help her recover her natural ability to entertain herself without electronics.

To give her a push in jumpstarting her imagination, build a town for her dolls out of building blocks, talking about what you’re doing, as in “Let’s make it big enough for Dolly to live in. Do you think she needs space to take a rest?” Let her guide the play and redirect the building. After about five minutes or so, she should be more engaged and then you can just sit there and let her do the playing. With stuffed animals, you can start a conversation between the owl and the lion about what to do that day. Ask your daughter what you think they should do, then do different voices for the animals. She'll probably start making sounds or voices herself with those or other animals.

In all activities, start the play, but then step aside and become a passive observer as your daughter takes over. As the hold TV/screens has had on her lessens, her brain will start to fire up on its own with imaginative play.

For more on how screen time, even “educational” programs, games, etc., re-wire children's brains, check out The Shallows by Nicholas Carr or The Big Disconnect by Teresa Barker and Catherine Steiner-Adair.