“It’s like getting FREE windows
for a year!” So the flyer for a window company claimed, but of course, the
windows really aren’t free. You’re just delaying payment for a year and
incurring interest. After the year, you end up owing more than you would have
for the privilege of not paying for the windows for an entire year.
Aren’t we like that as parents? Don’t we push off until “tomorrow”
the pain of disciplining our children today? Don’t we more often opt to “pay”
at a later date rather than effectively deal with the mess right now?
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Image courtesy of Arvind Balaraman/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
What does those delaying tactics get us? A gargantuan problem,
one that has grown to an unmanageable size, much like the payment due for
window purchased but not paid for an entire 12 months.
When we elect for expedient’s or convenience’s sake to let
the small discipline issues with our children slide, we set ourselves up for a
bigger headache down the road. When we decide that we’d rather have quiet than
correct, when we pick the here-and-now over the future, that’s how little
problems gain ground and become big, disruptive and, at times, nearly catastrophic.
Being consistent in our discipline takes time and effort and
energy—often the trio of things we have in short supply. Who has time to stop
and correct behavior while cooking dinner, washing clothes or talking with your
spouse? Who wants to put effort into staying on top of a chronic misbehavior?
Who has the energy to repeatedly train a toddler how to act around the cat?
The fact of the matter is, we need to take the time, we need
to put forth the effort, and we need to summon the energy to stay as consistent
as possible when disciplining our children. By doing so, we give them a safe
place to be themselves. We provide stability and love. We give them clear
boundaries that need less testing. Above all, we show them that dealing with
problems when they are small makes life now and in the future easier and better.
Sure, it’s not easy, and I fail all too often. But the best
thing you can do is to wake every morning, look at your lovely children, and
vow to take the time, effort and energy that day to paying attention to their
needs, correcting their behavior when necessary, and loving them no matter
what.
Until next time,
Sarah
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