The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Parents

Do you want to have a calmer, happier child-raising experience? Then you need to develop the habits of an effective parent. These commonsense principles can transform your parenting from ineffective to less stressful.

Here are the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Parents.

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The first habit is to know that the child raises the child. As a parent, you have a roll to play—an important one—but you have to realize in the end, you are only guiding and advising your child. You cannot make your child’s heart change. You cannot make your child obey. You cannot make your child grow up to be whoever you think he should become. This is why children from good homes can turn out badly, while children from horrible homes can turn out well.

The second habit is to realize there’s no magic bullet when it comes to consequences. The fact of the matter is that as long as you do something on a consistent basis, it doesn’t matter what the punishment is. For some kids, timeout works wonders, but for others, timeout doesn’t. Parents often rush around doling out one consequence after another in the hopes that one will “work” and correct a child’s behavior. But the first habit points out the futility in that. We need to do something, and keep doing something, but the “something” can change from child to child or from misbehavior to misbehavior. Changing it up in discipline keeps your kids on their toes, too.

The third habit is to raise kids with family and community in mind. For whom are you raising your kids? Yourself or others? Several generations ago, it was a given that children were raised for others, not just for the family or parents. That understanding meant that parents in the community looked out for each other’s kids, giving a corrective word when needed and a pat on the back when deserved. Parents drilled manners and respect for others so that their children knew how to behave around neighbors, friends and the community at large. Children knew their proper place in that community and thrived there.

The fourth habit is to remember that child rearing is not any harder than other life experiences. Let’s face it—we have become a nation of parenting wimps. It seems everyone is engaged in a game of one-upmanship when it comes to parenting stories. Yes, some stages of parenting is harder physically than others, while other times, it’s mentally draining. But in reality, parenting seems harder because we make it harder by over-scheduling, over-committing, overdoing it with our kids. It doesn’t have to be like that, and we can take a step back and have simpler lives that puts child-rearing in its proper place.

The fifth habit is to have a full life outside of your children. When was the last time you had a date with your husband that didn’t involve talking about your kids for the whole time? When was the last time you picked up a hobby or did something only for yourself? If we as parents don’t take the time to have a rich, full life outside of caring for our children, we run the risk of losing ourselves. One day, these precious ones will be grown and living their own lives—and that’s a wonderful thing! When that day comes, don’t be the mom or dad with a totally empty life.

The sixth habit is to be the leaders, not the followers, in the family. Yes, your children want to be in charge, but resist the urge and step up to the plate. Lead, and your children will follow. Give directions clearly and concisely.

The seventh habit is to enjoy your kids. When was the last time you laughed with your kids? Really had a good time when out with the family? Parents who are effective enjoy spending time with their children. Overall, they like having their kids around, even if they are not doing something together. They find pleasure in surprising their children. They don’t feel stressed all the time with raising kids—they actually enjoy their children.

By following these 7 habits of highly effective parents, you should have a relaxing, relatively calm child-rearing experience.

Until next time,

Sarah