Grandma was right!
There is an easy way and a hard way to raise kids. By and large, today’s
parents are choosing the hard way. This series of blogs will tackle familiar
phrases that used to be commonplace but fell out of favor during the last few
decades of the 20th century—and why parents should not be afraid to follow the
sentiment expressed in the phrases.
Being horse-crazy as a child, I often had a visual image of
what the phrase “Hold your horses” meant. Anyone who’s ever ridden a horse
knows that you have to keep a firm grip on the reigns to avoid having the horse
run away with you. That’s the same sentiment behind “Hold your horses,” which
literally means to keep your horses still.
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| Image courtesy of depsoons/FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
The phrase dates back to Homer, and means you need to slow
down, to be more careful and to exercise patience in the situation. When said
to children, it generally means to stop whining and be patient. But I rarely
hear it nowadays, as it’s usually the parents who are expected to be patient
and wait for their children, not the other way around.
Parents have ceased expecting that their children can—or
even should—wait for something, whether it’s ice cream, a new toy or their
parents to stop talking and leave the party. Patience isn’t so much a virtue as
it is an inconvenience these days.
How can you help your child develop more patience and learn
to hold his horses? By giving him lots of opportunities for practice.
For a toddler, instead of having dessert directly after
supper, try doing the dishes first and then having the sweet treat. Rather than
leaving as soon as your child expresses the desire to go, try having him wait
five more minutes while you wrap up a conversation. For older children, you can
help them develop patience by practicing delayed gratification for hours and
days for a whole host of things.
This advice to deliberately make a child wait for something
might seem mean at first glance, but used properly—within the context of a
loving and generous relationship with your child—it can help him reap the
wonderful reward that patience brings.
So go on and add “Hold your horses” into your parenting
phrase repertoire—you might find it a welcome addition!
Until next time,
Sarah
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