Barking Kids

Q: My 7-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son constantly argue and pick at each other. This has been going on for several months now! I do my best to leave them alone to work it out themselves, but the constant bickering is driving me crazy. What can I do to stop the sniping?

A: Read my book on sibling rivalry! Sorry, couldn’t resist a shameless plug (Ending Sibling Rivalry comes out in October).

Image courtesy of Liz Noffsinger/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now on to your question. When you have sibling conflict in your house, it can feel nonstop at times. With school out, it might be a matter of too much togetherness. There’s a reason the old adage, “Familiarity breeds contempt,” is true.

Give your kids some time apart and that should help to alleviate the discord. Set time during the morning and afternoon when the children play separately for a half hour or so. Set a timer if you have to, but make sure they are in different areas of the house, or one inside, one outside.

Bickering has probably become a habit, so they might still do a lot of it when together, even if they’re not really fighting. Try the Ticket system to cut down on this. Give them three tickets together each day. Every time they bicker (and define clearly what you mean), they lose a ticket. When all tickets are gone, they spend the rest of the day in their rooms and go to bed directly after supper. It takes two to snipe, so both should receive the same punishment.

The combination of separating the kids and implementing a joint ticket system should lower the bickering in your household. You won’t eliminate it entirely because kids aren’t perfect, but you should be able to help them break the habit of the way they intereact.

Email Sarah if you have a parenting question you would like to see answered on this blog.