Q: My 7-year-old daughter
and 5-year-old son constantly argue and pick at each other. This has been going
on for several months now! I do my best to leave them alone to work it out
themselves, but the constant bickering is driving me crazy. What can I do to
stop the sniping?
A: Read my book on sibling rivalry! Sorry, couldn’t resist a
shameless plug (Ending Sibling Rivalry
comes out in October).
Image courtesy of Liz Noffsinger/FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
Now on to your question. When you have sibling conflict in
your house, it can feel nonstop at times. With school out, it might be a matter
of too much togetherness. There’s a reason the old adage, “Familiarity breeds
contempt,” is true.
Give your kids some time apart and that should help to alleviate
the discord. Set time during the morning and afternoon when the children play
separately for a half hour or so. Set a timer if you have to, but make sure
they are in different areas of the house, or one inside, one outside.
Bickering has probably become a habit, so they might still do
a lot of it when together, even if they’re not really fighting. Try the Ticket
system to cut down on this. Give them three tickets together each day. Every
time they bicker (and define clearly what you mean), they lose a ticket. When
all tickets are gone, they spend the rest of the day in their rooms and go to
bed directly after supper. It takes two to snipe, so both should receive the
same punishment.
The combination of separating the kids and implementing a
joint ticket system should lower the bickering in your household. You won’t eliminate
it entirely because kids aren’t perfect, but you should be able to help them
break the habit of the way they intereact.
Email Sarah if you have a parenting
question you would like to see answered on this blog.
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