The Babification of Our Children

One of the outcomes of an overprotective parenting style is that we keep our kids in an infantile state for longer and longer. Don’t believe me? Consider these examples.

• In the late 1950s, nearly every child (92%) were potty trained by the age of 18 months. Today, a mere 4% of 2-year-olds are toilet trained and 60% of 3-year-olds are not in diapers.
• Last century, mothers tossed the pacifiers around age 1. Now, it’s not uncommon to see toddlers walking around with binkies stuck in their mouths.
• The rise of sippy cups have delayed the time when toddlers learned to drink from an open cup. Mothers used to transition their babies from bottle to cup around a year or so. Today, it’s not unusual to see preschoolers touting around sippy cups.
• Children ride in strollers a lot longer, too.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

These are just some ways in which we parents are conspiring to keep our children as baby-like as possible. We also underestimate how much our children are capable of doing on their own. Chores are a great example of this. A few years ago, when I posted on this blog a list of chores my kids did, the responses ranged from disbelief to amazement.

The thing we tend to forget is that our children aren’t going to walk as far as we do, drink from an open cup without spilling sometimes, or console themselves perfectly. Children are not miniature adults—they are unformed adults. As they are in the process of becoming adults, they are going to make mistakes and have to learn how to do things, from feeding themselves to tying their shoes to washing clothes.

What we need to remember is that they can do a lot more than we think—and to give them the chance to make mistakes while they acquire the skills needed as adults. It’s much better to expect too much of our children than to expect too little.

I’m often pleasantly surprised at what my kids can do for themselves. It’s usually more than I thought. Sure, things might get messy, but nobody promised you a pristine house or perfect children.

So let’s all work together to stop babying our kids. You can start by upping their chores and responsibilities. I think you’ll be amazed at what your kids can do—and how grownup they’ll feel when they do it on their own.

Until next time,

Sarah